Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
