in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Success! We fucked roommates!
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Randomize
