I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
