i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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