I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
