I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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