why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Randomize