Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
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