Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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