I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
