yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can tuck mytits in my pants
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
