I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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