Already got asked if we're dating
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I deserve this hangover.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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