The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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