"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
