So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
