If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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