Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I checked into jail on foursquare
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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