I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
