ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
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my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
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Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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