She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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