I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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