Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
