your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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