From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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