Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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