i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
