dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
