i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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