If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
