yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
