Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
is it fun? or sober?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
