when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
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just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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