wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I don't deserve a penis
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
