She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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