I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
