I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
