i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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