I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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