we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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