it was like fucking gandolphs beard
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
