he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
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Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
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Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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