My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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