what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I didn't notice because vodka
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
