Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
