i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
