Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
