U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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