dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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