Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think people are normalizing furries
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
