so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
