is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize