and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
