i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
