never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize