I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
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I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
MIDGETS
????
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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